Although the honey badger truly takes on a life form and has been used in various contexts thru the years, the urban meaning, as it applies to this blog, is one who fearlessly surpasses a work in progress or amateur status when it comes to an unfamiliar skill.
Lets go back to an earlier blog, The Enchantress for a moment. In reference to the tree that fell during a storm that wiped out the entire outside barn (with the exception of Hoover’s stall) one night. We were extremely lucky during this incident, as Hoover was the only horse inside that night…everyone else had the night rotation for turn-out. Once all of the horses were accounted for and deemed safe after the storm, Linda called in a tree service to remove the massive tree from the once standing structure so that repair work could begin.
The next day, the crew showed up to handle the task at hand. This is where I would meet Ross, who would eventually be my husband and the father of our two girls. Fast forward thru the courtship years and marriage to the point of this Blog. As many men can testify, it takes a lot of courage to take on a horse woman and the life that intertwines with the horse world.
Ross established a tradition, beginning with Hoover, of bringing a bouquet of grass and weeds, deemed safe by the horse crazy wife, whenever he came to the barn. Uncertain of his real intention by this particular gesture, he claims it was his attempt to avoid becoming a sacrificial lamb while in the presence of the giant beasts. Mind you, Hoover was as wide as he was tall…so although he was not the gargantuan giant that Ben was, his size could indeed be intimidating to the non horse person.
Ross’s journey with Hoover and I would include attending shows. After all, if Ross had any hope of keeping up with me, this would include tagging along with us, even if it meant that he would much rather be fishing on his weekend off from work. This endeavor would include succumbing to the idea that Hoover thought Ross made a very nice scratching post, especially once Hoover adorned braids in preparation for the show ring.
This journey would also include changing a flat tire on the side of the interstate, while in route to a show… followed by taking the trailer in to nearest shop on Saturday for a replacement tire. The silver lining to this incident is that Ross would be able to escape the typical “Honey Do” list at the show grounds while tending to the necessary task enabling us to get home on Sunday. After all, his vision of being stuck in this treacherous realm more than 3 consecutive days was more than he could bear…lol.
There were a few shows where the winter weather was so cold, Ross would retreat to the vehicle with one of Hoover’s various blankets to try and thaw out his frozen joints with the vehicle heater running on maximum. He would make every attempt to get to the ring in time to watch 2-3 scheduled classes, disguised as an alien, wrapped up in blankets from head to toe. After some careful consideration and observation, he most often would succeed in this attempt without drawing unnecessary attention to himself or to other horses trying to distinguish the mummified body traipsing through the grounds. On other occasions, he would simply watch from the warm vehicle, only to remark later that he found it absolutely amazing Hoover could clear the large obstacles (jumps) with his astounding weight.
The journeys home would often include him driving. Yes, it took a while for me to have the confidence that Ross was perfectly capable of returning Hoover and I home safely. After all, Ross had plenty of practice driving his off-shore boat to Miami and other venues for fishing tournaments. This generous endeavor allowed me to retire my tired and weary body, if just briefly, to take a much needed nap. After all, there were still chores to be done once we arrived back home.
Once Hoover began to phase into retirement, I set out to find a suitable young replacement. This prospect would have huge shoes to fill (figuratively and literally), and I eventually settled into the realization that the feat would be an impossible one. Once I ceased comparing apples to oranges, I found myself making arrangements to review a possible candidate. Ross agreed to go with me to Virginia to review my next potential project. Halfway to our destination, we mutually decided to return home with the vehicle and trailer and fly to Virginia. The weather reports that were emerging were calling for ice and snow and we determined that we were less than prepared to haul a horse home under those kind of weather conditions. Fly, we did, despite my severe apprehension of flying. Once Princess had been tried, reviewed and purchased, Ross and I headed home to make arrangements to have her commercially shipped in to her new home. Once home, Ross would again greet his newest “wolf in sheep clothing” with a bouquet of grass. After Princess’s approval, Ross let out a sigh of relief and retreated home before the horse crazy wife would begin reciting, “honey, could you please…”
Fast forward thru Princess’s formidable years, Hoover was placed to rest, at 38 years of age, under the shade tree where he would take his final rest. By this time, I began exploring opportunities for another young prospect to replace Princess in Ami-Owners so that I could give her the easier task of showing in Adult Amateur. This would help to preserve Princess’s longevity, as it was a tirelessly daunting task for her to gallop down the 3’6 lines. Her heart & effort never once disappointed… and for that (and so much more)…I felt that I owed her the job that she loved but one she could accomplish without so much effort.
When I found Rose in Virginia, I did not feel the need to make a pre-purchase journey since the seller was someone I knew from my Ocala days. Ross was beyond relief to know he would not be required to embark on this part of the journey with me, especially since he still sported scars from my grips on the last flight.
Little did Ross know the fun was just beginning. While traveling with one horse to shows can leave a honey badger feeling accomplished, traveling with two can be quite a challenge. Since Ami-Owners would frequently follow Adult amateurs, I found it much easier to simply take Princess and Rose down to the ring simultaneously. Ross would once again become a scratching post while holding one horse until I completed showing the other one for the day.
Ross learned to really appreciate the “down time” between shows, while I enjoyed my solo time at home or taking the horses for a leisure stroll thru the woods, marsh, beach, Gascoigne Park, etc…any deviation from the schooling/showing schedule that had become more cumbersome than enjoyable by that time in my life. Eventually, the “good mares” were encroaching on the inevitable longer breaks in their show schedule as our tiny humans entered the picture. As these tiny humans became medium size humans, their interest in horses would continue to grow with them. Then the day came when the girls would begin riding and I would once again embark on a journey to find a third wheel so that I could accompany them on rides.
History would repeat itself, as Godiva entered the picture as the third wheel. Ross greeted her as she unloaded from the semi trailer, with TWO welcome bouquets of grass, as he was aware that she would be twice the size of any horse he had bribed before. Ross’s engagement this time around would prove to be much less demanding since motherhood left me with no desire to return to the endless travel anytime soon. Two distinctive differences with Ross’s job description this time around would involve moving jumps from the back field to the front field when Godiva arrived. While Princess and Rose never paid any mind to the jumps, Godiva would toss them around like her favorite new toys. Secondly, when we realized that the original fencing built in the 70’s would no longer sustain Godiva’s weight when she would scratch from the no seams, Ross set out to reinstate security with electrical wiring. He and Willie (native to CPHS) would spend an undetermined number of hours to complete this undertaking around the entire perimeter fencing.
There were also the few occasions Ross and Willie would transfer truck loads of dirt to the stalls in order to raise the footing above island sea level prior to returning the stall mats to proper placement. Instead of the traditional dragging loads of dirt to the stalls on a an oversized tarp, Ross followed Willie’s lead and finally learned it would be much easier to back the truck up to the individual stall windows and simply shovel the dirt over the threshold.
A few weeks later, as I notified Ross that I was taking the “towing package” in to be serviced, he suddenly had this look of panic in his expression, which I had never before witnessed. Without any warning, he replied by asking…that trailer will be empty when you return, will it not?” Having said that, it may be a good time to point out that we have always financed our individual interests on our own behalf. So although, Ross has never been held accountable for the passion I had before we met, he has been more than generous with the time, support and encouragement he has invested in a hobby that he inherited by default…but may have now reached his threshold.
While a naïve stranger to the horse world 22 years ago (and a clueless victim at best), Ross endured the never ending abuse and always having his ladies’ backs (humans and horses alike) to surpassing even the most vulnerable newbies to the sport. He not only graduated at the top of his class but he has earned the elusive BUT well deserved title of HONORARY HONEY BADGER.
Just as Ross begins to think retirement is just around the corner and has posted a sign at the entrance of his man cave reading “RETIRED…ASK CRAZY HORSE LADY”, he suddenly hears the all too familiar pitch come over his speaker phone…”Honey, could you…”
Homestead Memoirs 