Mirror, mirror on the wall

This is a highly unusual topic for me to take an interest in but I thought it would provide a thought provoking awareness…not only for subjects… but also for victims that fall prey to the narcissist. Make no mistake, this blog is not intended for any purpose other than to write about my own experiences  with the narc thru the years and my own research that has taken place as a result of those encounters. Nonetheless, this list can be an insightful reference for those of us who may question whether or not we possess any narcissistic qualities. I know I have…and I continue to question whether or not I possess narcissistic tendencies. Although narcs come in different forms, I have been known to lift my veil and reference my archived notes, periodically, to re-evaluate. I would especially question my actions as a mother. I would question whether I was a control freak, as I have admitted to in other areas of my life. Ultimately, I would admit that I may have been…but only because I was a protective hen of my chicks. Perhaps the answer lies neatly between being a helicopter and lawn mower parent. There were times I would shift the blame to one or both of my kids if I were to cause a mishap and accuse the nearest child of being under foot or creating a distraction that enabled the mishap. They would “call me out” when I did this. I always tried to be aware of my misgivings and apologize to my chicks when I erred in my ways, in hopes they would learn from my mistakes that no one is perfect. This is when I learned to lift my veil once in a while for a reality check.

Towards the end of this blog, I have listed three astrological examples without regard to the specific sign, so as to avoid overt recognition to those that may fall under the “ghost” sign. However, having said this, studies show that the narc typically does not have an issue admitting to their narcissistic behaviors publicly. Read on for some honest introspection…

• You feel like you are walking on eggshells when around the narc
• You discover the term “anti-stalking” when around the narc. This is when you deliberately avoid the narc.
• They will stonewall you. This is a deliberate attempt to avoid answering your question or concern.
• They are superficial and will only surround themselves with enablers or tongue biters
• They never feel guilt or remorse as long as they strive to maintain their agenda.
• They have convenient amnesia if someone should belittle their fragile egos
• They are cold/distant if you do not serve any purpose to them or their agenda
• Gaslighting is their arsenal of choice (shifting the blame to the victim)
• They will create disorder in order to obtain the attention they are so desperate for.
• They harbor resentment/jealousy over perceived successes of others.
• They will seldom be seen supporting/encouraging others unless it is part of their agenda.
• Do they create harmony or havoc?
• You will not receive the truth if it does not suit their agenda
• They are arrogant
• Their next arsenal of defense is withholding (information, amenity of entitlement, etc…)
• Power of control is their arch nemisis
• They only surround themselves with flying monkeys (who will provide the obedience and admiration they are starving for)
• The worst thing you can do is react to the narc’s manipulation…that is what they are striving for. Simply walk away and say nothing.
• You can lead a narc to evidence but they will dismiss it
• Narcs play dumb when caught
• Only people with low self-esteem are egotistical…that’s right…read this again.
• If you find yourself apologizing unnecessarily for warranted concerns
• Only people with a healthy self esteem can dodge or leave the narc
• Once you confront the narc, their fragile ego will be shattered and you will suddenly find yourself being played the subject projecting evil on them
• As an Aries lamb, the first narc quality I recognize in myself is internalizing/harboring the frustrations…until that moment when the Aries LAMB morph’s into an Aries RAM and decides to send the entire map of the universe up in flames. As a result, I have tried to maintain a steadier rhythm of unleashing my frustrations…but when I am done, I am done…there is no turning back! After all, statistics state that 60% of mass shootings are carried out by an Aries.
• On a more positive note, I base my relationships on honesty. There are no facades…you will know if I respect you…or not. ..I will not leave you guessing.
• Another example of an astrological narc is a ______. The worst characteristics for fueling the narc in this sign is restlessness, boredom, open-mindedness…this is the sign that is most often guilty of cheating on their loved one/spouse or goes missing for periods of time. This is also one of the easiest signs to fall victim to a narc.
• Another astrological example of a narc is a ______. They are shallow, materialistic, hungry for power, persuasive, guard their possessions like God’s throne, unable to empathize…often times known to be cult leaders.
• I could go on with each and every zodiac sign but I thought I would leave some fun for you, as the reader, to peruse some of your own research.
• Once you have learned to recognize the signs of a narc, run like “hell hath no fury” when you spot one…there is no distance too great!

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In this Millennial era…the era of entitlement…the once elusive narc can be seen around just about every corner in today’s world. Learning how to recognize the signs will hopefully help to prevent one from falling under the narc’s reviling spell…OR…at least provide a resource for those that would like to take an honest introspection.

Dedicated to momma hen’s chicks…may they have the courage, insight and intuition to seek out healthy relationships and refrain from the toxic ones in their fastidious adult years.