Chronicles

It was in the midst of listening to a friend’s roach buster testament, that I decided on the subject for this next blog. Before I begin, allow me to tell you how my friend exterminated the palmetto bugs that would invade her home while living in Charleston… to help set the tone and mood. NOTE: I have no doubt in my mind that witch’s brew and mind altering herbs were involved on this particular evening.

After her dogs chased down the larger than life roaches, they were gathered and placed into a cauldron of paraffin wax.  They were removed separately and pierced with safety pins before the cooling process began. Then, she scattered them outside around her front door as a warning to other palmetto bugs. I found myself speechless and in an awe-stricken trance as she told this story. Having forgotten about this bewitching spell that particular evening, visitors would comment on this odd choice of decor upon approach to her front door in days to follow…lol!

I have quite an eclectic tribe of friends and have observed and witnessed unusual occurrences, as a result.  Therefore, what seems normal to me may seem a bit off or downright creepy to others. I have had a great deal of fun recollecting some of the following memories and/or reactions, below.

LIVING WITH SPOUSE AND CHILDREN:

• Why does the house smell like a temple?
• Why are there so many lit candles in the house?
• Why is there salt on the floors again?
• Why is there salt in the beds again?
• The burning sage smells like marijuana (minors…I would highly recommend NOT making this remark in the company of your parents)
• “It is just a rock”…why are there so many on the table?
• Why do you have 6 incense burners going at one time…should we call the fire department?
• What is that smell? “Never mind…I don’t want to know”!
• Am I supposed to eat this?
• Are the jars labeled with skulls safe to use?
• Why are you pointing at me?
• I liked Practical Magic, too…BUT…
• What do you write in that journal everyday?
• If you do not like to come to my house due to the smell of burning sage…then it is obviously working.
• Why are there herbs in the linen?
• Why are there flowers in my underwear drawer?
• It smells like an herbal store in here
• What is that jar of green stuff? Isn’t that the horse’s hay? (alfalfa)
• Why is the crucifix sitting next to the skeletal remains we found on our excursion thru the woods last season? That is just creepy!
• Why are there black candles lit throughout the house? Usually, you only have white candles burning…(pause)…Never mind, I will be outside (as pace quickens to retreat)
• Mom, why are there dead birds in the freezer? OMG…and there is a baby duck in the freezer, also…what the hell?
• Why did you throw salt at me?
• Why do you have a tray of light bulbs on the patio? Is the moon full again?
• Why must I stir my broth in that direction…why not the other way?
• What did you write on that sheet of toilet paper before flushing it down the toilet?
• Mom, dad called to say his truck broke down and that Grandpa is driving him home. He wants to know if that planet –  that starts with an ‘M’ – is walking backwards again?
• Mom…can I have some of you flowerdy stuff to put in my bath water…like you use?

  

SUGGESTIONS TO THE NON-DWELLER OR GUEST

Full moon over the barn

Crows atop water tower

• The thyme under your pillow will deliver sweet dreams
• Do not disturb the dust in my house…the useless particles are functional for my spells
• If you see one crow in my driveway…you are safe to approach
• If you see two crows in my driveway… you are NOT safe to approach…retreat quickly!
• If you see Benny (the duck) in the driveway…retreat faster
• Roosters in back yard, enter at your own risk
• Pet semetery comes to life after dusk, stay in the circle of salt in your room (kindly left by your hostess prior to your arrival)
• If you are allergic to the aroma of allspice, best you stay in a hotel
• Do not touch the charms in the house…this includes the familial.
• Leave the mint at the front door when you enter
• Know moon phases, metaphysical, spiritual and astrological influences to help you survive your visit
• Traditions are peer pressure from dead people…they are not allowed here
• On the flip side of the ruin, do not speak ill of the dead in my house…consider this your one and only warning
• Eat five almonds before consuming the adult brew, in the kitchen, to avoid intoxicating nausea
• bring your ear plugs if you do not wish to listen to the likes of Harvest Moon or Crystal
• If it is a foggy night, expect your dreams to deliver invisible insight
• If things are not going your way, you may use the tarot cards on your night stand for a reading. I would suggest looking for the wheel of fortune card…the two cards on either side is the solution to your challenge.
• There is a complete set of American Horror Story videos – every season – in the television cabinet for your enjoyment
• If you notice arrangements in threes around the house, for your own comfort and safety please do not disturb
• Please distinguish candles before going to sleep. NOTE: if a flame should crackle or pop, there is no cause for alarm. It means that your prior tarot reading will manifest…just in a most unexpected way
• If you should have a less than pleasant dream while visiting, please remember it is bad luck to talk about it before breakfast.
• Oh…and if you happen to catch a glimpse of Agatha in the SE corner of the ceiling in your room…she is harmless. She appears from time to time to remind us that the web we weave today is the web we inhabit tomorrow
• I do hope your visit is a pleasant one. However, if you should feel the urge to depart before awakening is upon us…no need to let me know. My neighbor, Gladys Kravitz, will be certain to notify me first thing in the morning.

PERCEPTION VS REALITY:

• No…my front door is not purple
• No…I do not partake in cults, sacrificials, curses or omens of any kind . In fact, the opening story was somewhat difficult for me to envision as it was being told to me
• I am very intuitive
• I do love earth, air, fire and water elements
• I do have a stock supply of essential oils and herbal tea
• I do love animals
• The needle and thread you see hanging from the chandelier is not a pendulum. It remains there as an easy find for when I need to make an emergency sewing repair. Therefore, I never need to “look for a needle in the horse’s hay” when time is of essence.
• I love creating artful oddities, thinking outside of the box,keeping an open mind
• I do not have insight on lucky numbers. If I did, I would be traveling with my gypsy caravan by now…lol!

This blog is dedicated to all of my witchy, gypsy, holistic, fairy, unicorn, hippie friends…don’t step on the toad stools, take the dragon fly ride, pay homage to the troll and have a magical journey thru the pixie dust!

Author: pegasus8mywings

Full time mother of two teenage girls with a full time job and Noah's Ark on the side. View all posts by pegasus8mywings