The visionary for this blog was birthed during commentary with my BFF on a prior blog and the frustrations from an artist friend that found it difficult to complete one of her amazing paintings. The substance came about as I was informed my senior rescue dog has bladder cancer and thus, the reason his diabetes would not regulate on insulin. Knowing his days will be numbered and reflecting on the happiness and joy Milo contributed to the homestead over the years, I started writing this blog in my mind, until I could reach pen and paper. Although the content is much deeper than prior musings, it comes to you with heartfelt feeling and emotion.
By now we all know that life is not perfect, tidy and compartmentalized…in fact, far from it. In reality, it is the hardships, challenges and suffering that brings us to a place where we come to terms with who we really are…fears, inferiorities, passions and strengths. The willingness to take an honest look inward, will hopefully bring us to a place of peace, contentment and happiness.
There was a time I would view less than perfect “life stuff” with feelings of failure, resentment and self pity. Although with time and healing from such occurrences, I can now reflect on these times as favorable opportunities to grow and learn how to respect and love my perfect imperfections. As a result of these divine revelations, I can now travel my journey in life with less stress, pressure and feeling the need to live my life by other’s acceptance and approval.
It takes a much higher love to replace my contentment for the here and now. While I do not look at the past with any regrets (except letting the buggy horse get away and turning down the opportunity to foxhunt in Ireland with Maureen), I find peace with the present with little concern for the future. I do believe in fate, silver linings and destiny…but this is not to suggest to give up on your dreams…just don’t let the future consume the present because you only get one present moment.
It is not about conditional love…but unconditional love. Granted, there may be those that are better loved from a distance…but unconditional love includes loving those even with perceived flaws. I use the word perceived because no one is perfect in the human realm. It is not about severing ties with someone simply because they may not contribute to a false sense of entitlement or future gains / assets. It is not about judging others for their choices. Instead it is about realizing how hard one has worked for achievements and the sacrifices made along the way. It is about celebrating one another’s victories. It is about straightening one another’s crown or tiara when low and offering support and encouragement when needed.
As an artisan, my mind is wired to work overtime. I always worry whether or not there will be another inspiration for writing, painting or designing. Artists, by design, are always striving for that next project, craving the inspirational ideas and creating another masterpiece that is even better the the previous achievement. Without that fulfillment, we feel stagnant, lost, empty and blocked. Instead, we channel our energy on another passion until that “ah-ha” moment returns. I have learned that ideas come forth when they are not forced and the best things in life occur when you are not looking. Additionally, there would be no satisfaction in putting meaningless words on paper. That would be like volunteering to cover the office on a Holiday and staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring. There is no productivity in that just as there is no meaning to writings without feeling the very existence of your words and thoughts.
The elusive moment of mysticism occurs when you appreciate the perfectly imperfect….similar to finding the same beauty in seaweed as a pearl necklace or the same beauty in a weed as a heirloom flower. It is the ability to love your senior pets every bit as much – if not more – than when they arrived on your homestead. It is loving the handicap person or animal as much as the perception of the ideal. It is about loving those that are less fortunate than you. It is about embracing those of another race, color or culture. It is about the ability to appreciate jazz AND country music. It is about loving without prejudice. It is about being proud of your free spirit child every bit as much as your studious, goal attaining child. It is feeling elated for your children’s father when he gets a nice new truck, while yours spends more time in the repair shop than on the road. I am not only happy for his recent investment but I cannot think of anyone who deserves it more than he does.
It is about having an open heart, having the insatiable desire to learn, exploring earth’s wonders, finding beauty in silence, embracing differences, looking inward and outward without criticism, loving unconditionally, finding value in “it is what it is”… that one truly begins to live in the moment.
Homestead Memoirs 