Someone asked me about my daughters earlier today, which ultimately prompted a thought for my next blog. I preceded to inquire, “do you mean the eldest collegiate or the youngest wayward millenial…lol? While it is true that I have two daughters that are totally opposite from one another, the common denominator that comes to mind is GOAL. I thought this would be a a timely topic since the subject of goals has been a prevalent one, as of late.
Morgan arrived in this world in a steady, timely, rock solid, independent fashion. While she possess most of the typical Taurus traits, stubborn is her middle name. She had an agenda from the time she was born and hit the road in a fierce steadfast manner. She knew what she wanted…and she wanted it yesterday…and there has been no stopping her ever since! She excelled in Academics and will be graduating College this May with a major in International Affairs.
Jordan is my creative, imaginative dreamer child. She is a charming Gemini free spirit that is in no hurry to achieve any significant, life changing accomplishments anytime soon. Wayward, yes…goal jetting, not so much!
Now, if I could just come up with a way to encourage each of them to meet half way, life would be grande. Morgan has been so busy rushing through her tender years to reach her goals that she has missed opportunities to simply slow down and “just be in the moment” once in a while. Conversely, I can easily envision the youngest to reach retirement age before she ever possibly declares what she wants to do with her life…lol!
Despite the upbringing most of us had where we were applauded each time we learned something new or reached a goal, I think there are times we become too fixated on achieving our goals. I know this sounds strange…but hear me out. All too often, we are told never to give up until we reach our goals. We are in such a rush to have the nice house with the white picket fence and nice family when we should be in love with the process and not the end result. Sometimes, we just want things because we are in love with the idea of those things…BUT…not with the real process of achieving those things.
Several issues with goals is that it instills in us the drive for perfectionism, which leads to low self esteem if goals are not achieved and health issues surrounding the stress of the achievements set forth by one self, society or the work environment. Additionally, you have been conditioned to live in the future thinking about goals instead of the present. Finally, striving for excellence leaves one exhausted and less effective in the long run.
Think of it like the old cliche’ money does not buy happiness…and for those that do…will never have enough in their sense of the word. Suppose you achieved 1 million in profit the first month, the natural thing to do by today’s standards is to strive for 2 million in profit the second month. Psychologists say that we do most things for two reasons…out of fear or out of love. Do you know of anything in this world that has infinite growth? If so, I would like to know because I, personally, do not know of anything.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I can be a push over for challenges. Tell me I can’t and by God, I will show you I can! Sometimes, however, I believe that achieving goals can be trap. Let’s say you have accomplished a challenging goal…congratulations, you have now given your superior every reason to increase this goal. You have several more scenarios like this and you will eventually set yourself up for falling short…it is simply a matter of statistics…nothing more, nothing less. As my own worst critic, it would be in my nature to continue as I always have but also knowing that some things are out of our control. Do not lose sight of what is important…the happiness and joy of the process and living in the moment. Enjoy the space where you are now… and where you hope to be some day. Don’t fall into the trap of doing only that can be measured or you will be of no value to yourself…or to others. In summary, my belief is that life is best traveled in a curved manner…not a straight line.
At the same token, it is about change to a moderate degree and s t r e t c h i n g goals that will provide freshness, incentive, challenge, ability to process the present, maintain happiness for self and others…and ultimately achieve success for yourself, colleagues, clients and employers alike.
Dedicated to my most precious gifts in life…my daughters. May the eldest learn to slow down and smell the roses once in a while and the youngest step up the pace so that your mom can set goals for that tadpole event or glamping with her sisterhood 🙂
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