Finding Magic in the Silence

 

We have had a rainy season and therefore, I have been able to complete more journal entries than I typically would in one season. One evening at home, as I was winding down after my evening chores, I put my mind to use trying to come up with a theme for my next journal entry. Suddenly, I looked at the clock and realized I spent from 8PM until 9PM trying to find that one word that would match my mood of the evening…and only had 3 topics jotted down as possabilites. Where did the time go? How did I waste 1 hour and only have 3 topics on paper to show for that hour? The three words I had written down on a blank sheet of paper in 60 minutes were : Loyalty, Church and Flexibilty. Feeling a little frustrated, I received a text from the eldest daughter asking If I could proof read her thesis if she were to send it to my phone. Although, I had already geared my mindset for bed by this time, I said “yes”. After all, perhaps this could be my redemption for wasting precious time.

I lead a relatively busy life so I am used to being on the go from 5AM until 8-9PM. If I am not physically engaged in my schedule, I am mentally engaged until bed time. If I am not tending to my Ark, the tiny humans or work, I am tending to some new creation or riding. Many people have commented thru the years that they don’t know how I do what I do each day. I guess I have just conditioned myself to thinking that’s just how life is. Sure, there have been – and are – days that I feel I can barely keep up but I am one to become easily bored if I do not have some task that needs tending to.

Then the eureka moment hits me…quiet time will be the subject of my next journal entry. Now that Morgan’s thesis had been proof read and journal theme has been established…off to bed I go, feeling an improved sense of accomplishment.

The next evening it is still raining so my chores at the barn were, again, fewer than most evenings. I can hardly wait to get home and begin with my thoughts and words on this entry.

Before I begin, I would like to remind you that our household during childhood was run like a military boot camp…early to bed, early to rise, government temps, if you were not doing homework, you were doing chores or going to church. Therefore, there is no doubt where I would I learn to mirror “busy-ness”.

If we were on a road trip and happened to pass what appeared to be a homeless person, I could not help but wonder how bored they must be each day. Mind you, my father was the sole provider when we were growing up, while my mother stayed at home tending to all of our needs (and the needs of my live-in grandmother and great grandmother). We by no means had a lavish life and nothing was ever handed out on a silver platter. We led a simple life staying busy, earning our keep and living from one paycheck to the next. However, the poor or homelss person does not even have the luxury of “busy-ness”. Their sense of purpose is merely surviving. Finding some place to sleep, seeking protection from weather elements and finding food scraps is their life mission 24 hours each day. While the first and obvious emotion most of us feel is sympathy and compassion…more often than not, I would often feel sadness because I knew they had to be bored having limted resources to seek variation from day to day.

We learn that essence of time occurs in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks months and years…collaborated points on a continuum.

As I continue my journey on living a meaningful life, I am still learning the value and beauty of still moments. Now that the tiny humans are exploring life away from their nest, I have rediscovered a less structural environment, in which I can enhance on the quiet opportunities. If I should ever have a few moments of idleness, which is rare, some things I resort may be:

• Have a crossword book handy when waiting for doctor or dentist appointments. I keep a book in the vehicle at all times.
• Know where you stand with everyone in your life so as to avoid unnecessary time in communication attempts.
• Know that what was left unsaid in any relationship means everything, so as to avoid any unnecessary follow-up.
• Know that an unresolved problem is a truth to be accepted.
• Do not adjust your boundaries to indulge disrespect
• Make time for your creator, as he makes time for you
• Write a letter instead of relying on email or text.
• Disconnect remaining 3 tvs in your house. Congratulations…you now have a total savings of $350 a month in total (see Homesteading on a Budget).
• Take more time for self care. Shave the tree forest on your legs, perform the self pedicure/manicure, trim the ends of your hair while you notice how fast your gray hair is taking over, etc…
• Take the time to check on your elderly neighbor.
• Take the extra minuite to appreciate the life-time courtship of your doves.
• Realize upfront that you are better suited for solo sports than team sports because as an empath you would never forgive yourself if you let your partner or team down.

• Learn that when someone retires…they take their decision seriously. Forgo the attempts to try and convince them otherwise. When your loyal friend and hairdresser retires, do not continue to show up on her doorstep. When the farrier you used for years retires, do not haul the horse(s) into his front driveway with the hopes that he will not turn you away.
• Take the extra time to comfort your blind senior dog in his numbered days left with you. Relieve his faithful companion to hang out with the homestead while you carefully guide his  partner to favorite areas of the yard.
• Observe the one remaining feline gravitate towards senior canine, as he did a former senior dog shortly before he left this realm. Yes, cats can indeed sense ill health…
• Discover the discipline of tighter budgets when horses are due for coggins, teeth floating, hoof trims, immunizations and worming within a month’s time.
• Spend a few minutes watching tassels and his friends (see Tassel’s Misadventures) mischievously playing as the wet winter days morph into longer warmer days.
• Purchase the $4.99 bouquet of fresh flowers to add color to your sanctum while at the grocery store

• Travel with your favorite scented candle to remind you of your sanctum while in the hotel room.
• Take the extra time for a luxurious bath in your garden tub instead of the hurried shower.
• Add a sprig from your eucalyptus tree to your shower for refreshing aroma.
• Take that much needed nap to recharge.
• Since ALL of your TVS are now disconnected, listen to your favorite music as you drift into slumber.
• Take a walk on the beach to remember that you actually live on a barrier island.
• Return to or visit a home that has a screen door that shuts behind you as you enter house.
• Browse through old photos while visiting same family home. Continue to search for  old photos to contribute to the CPHS page on FB (see Cannons Point Hunt Stables that Trace and I created)
• Take time out for the traditional family picnic on familial homestead.
• Don’t feed your expectations…just go with the flow of the tides
• A very sentimental activity I shared with a dear late friend of mine was to take turns sharing one word each morning and have the other one share dialogue using that word. Not only was this activity fun and challemging but it was a caring distraction for my friend in his last stages of cancer several states over.

While there are so many other examples of being in the moment with life silences…the main lesson is knowing how to respond to these graceful moments with purpose. Instead of raising the bar on productivity, be still once in a while and let the universe speak to you with her magic.