With the joys, triumphs, uncertainties, anxiety and sadness over the last few weeks, I emerged from the chaos only to realize how thankful I am for my continuous journey to peace.
In one weekend, I lost the last two of my original duck colony. Since I have had all of my homestead companions for quite a few years, it seems that all of my losses are culminating at one time due to life expectancy. That same weekend, we lost our beloved ferret, Piper…presumably from old age, as well.
Then you had a potent Full Moon on Halloween and Time Change to occur in the same weekend. While the Full Moon was not predicted to affect my sign as significantly as others, I set off to enjoy the activities lined up for the weekend, despite the loss of some of our pets just several days earlier.
With all of the recent hurricanes blowing ashore on the Gulf Coast, we have had more than our fair share of rain and wind this season. Coincidentally, we were met with gale force winds Saturday morning as I set out to ride some of my herd at the barn prior to the festivities scheduled there that afternoon. Feeling a bit unsettled with the weather conditions and the cosmic influences, I opted to lunge several horses instead of riding. Afterwards, I ran home to grab some lunch so that I could return to the barn to watch the Halloween costume entries with their equine companions. Additionally, I had hoped to capture photos since the team members are typically busy organizing the event.
When I returned, I was met with a somber crowd and contestants being rerouted to the back ring for the exhibition. Upon inquiry, I learned that one of the horses entered in the contest had an accident that was beyond anyone’s control. Without going into any details regarding the incident, the mare was met with the unfortunate demise of being euthanized…all while the event continued to take place, as scheduled. I was in complete shock at the tragic event that unfolded that day and the emotions that swept over me took their toll by late afternoon. Knowing that my spirit would not return anytime soon, I canceled out on the evening events.
The next day, I was still dealing with sadness, grief and a bankruptcy of positive vibes. Therefore, other than my routine chores at the barn, I opted to remain as far removed from the barn and triggers of the previous day’s tragedy. Instead, I hibernated in my sanctum to divert my focus and attention to attempting to regain my balance, focus and attention to matters at hand on the homestead. I readied Piper’s prior hutch to welcome a new homestead resident…a rescue rabbit that I reluctantly agreed to take in earlier in the week.
This past weekend, you had the GA/FL game, The Breeders Cup and the final outcome of the Presidential Election…a lot of anticipation and anxiety rolled into another weekend. Two of the three events produced a less than positive outcome while the latter had been a hopeful conclusion. I found myself asking, “can we start the last two weekends again? I was not ready”. On the bright side, the stars were once again lining up to curb my creative appetite that has eluded my grasp since early September.
At the close of the weekend, as my mother and I were planning my Dad’s Birthday in the upcoming weekend, my mother made a comment that was not entirely unfamiliar to me. She said “I don’t know how you have done what you have done through the years or how you continue to do what you do…your plate is entirely too full…but you always miraculously manage”. As I hung up the phone, I continued to consider my mother’s closing remark. Aside from other contributing factors, I have to say that I have always strived to build my life in such a way that everything outside of my career and family responsibilities is a therapeutic outlet.
I will readily admit that I suck at meditating…simply because I find it difficult to sit still and completely shut out my thoughts. However, some learned and self taught lessons through the years may include, but not limited to:
Do not compare yourself to others…the moon and sun each have their time to shine. Just because someone carries it well does not mean it is not heavy. Apples and Oranges BOTH have sweet, nutritional value.
Do not compete with others…except for the last piece of bacon.
Do not judge others…unless you are sizing them up for grabbing the last cup of coffee in the breakroom.
Let go of anger, regrets, worrying, guilt and fear…but don’t let go when in a downward dog pose while in a standing room only yoga class.
Do not blame others…especially lazy people, for they did not do anything.
Eliminate negativity from your energy field…if that does not work, go into anti-stalking mode.
Accept that there may not always be answers to your questions…except “which way to the adult leisure beverage aisle”?
Learn something every day…especially where the other 5,995 of 6,000 bobby pins are that you have had in your life time.
Let go of something every day…especially the notion that Buffalo Wings will not result in having to seek out the nearest bathroom a few moments later.
Accept that you cannot control everything…”it will be fun” they said…now I need bail money š¦
Exercise vulnerability…if I let you in, please don’t break anything; otherwise, the next time I open up is for my autopsy.
Have deep, meaningful conversations…but do not reveal everything. After all, what fun would it be if you did not retain some mystery.
Allow and expose depth and rawness in relations…the one exception may be not to disclose information about the bodies buried in your back yard.
Have a belly laugh often…but not recommended with a full bladder or a mouth full of food.
Indulge your passions (some of mine include art, reading, writing, gardening, listening to music, dancing, photography, riding, designing…)
***NOTE: Music deserves a category of it’s own accord here. We grew up with music playing in the familial home 24/7. My parents controlled the rotation between the likes of Carol King, Bee Gees, Neil Diamond, Barbara Streisand…all of the popular hits of the 70’s. Thus, my passion for music plays a significant role in seeking my center and balance ***
Be humble…plus humor = humanity
Live, Laugh, Love…if that does does not work – load, aim, fire.
Honor space b/w no longer and not yet…until you can hear your song on the radio without drowning in Niagra Falls
Have 3 eyes…2 to look and 1 to see. Best if one is located in the back of your head when rearing children.
Do not gossip or encourage gossip… one who gossips with you, will gossip about you.
Thoroughly enjoy minding your own business…and don’t worry about what I am doing…worry about why you are worried about what I am doing.
Have compassion for all… Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.
Sit with the broken…to give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
Find strength in silence while soaking in your garden tub…until you hear the coven witches fuckin’ up the chants and knocking candles over in the next room
Spend time with nature…but take plenty of bug spray with you
Learn to laugh at yourself… and do not make eye contact with anyone while eating a banana
Do not let just any energy permeate your sacred sanctum or home – see Stage the Aura…below
Establish rituals…when you are wiping your ass and the toilet paper comes back without a single shit stain…the ritual of purification is complete ( I have prep for colonoscopy in mind here).
Stage the aura and climate of your sanctum with candles, incense, crystals, salt lamp, plants, wind chimes, essential oils, fairy lights, table fountain, etc...especially useful in the foyer when uninvited guests appear at your door.
If you should temporarily lose focus on one of your passions, try teaching it for a while. Your focus will return in no time and with any luck perhaps you learned something yourself... Greeting to participant: “Welcome to the dark side…where all of the fun stuff happens”.
See a Chiropractor to restore your energy…weekly evaluation to see if practioner had her Wheaties that morning.
Yoga – paying someone to tell you to breathe and drink water afterwards. Bonus, if you go in as a bagel but leave as a pretzel.
Until next time…”remember not to test the depth of the water with both feet” š
Homestead Memoirs 