Queenagers

From the time I was old enough to understand simple phrases, I recall my mother always saying “never wish the years away…before you know it, you will wish you were this age again”. You could expect to hear these words if you were caught uttering, “I wish I was old enough to drive”, “I can’t wait to be old enough to live on my own”, etc. After enough repeat scenarios, my mother would finally drive these words home.

Combine her cliche’s with the fact that my brother and I grew up in an adult’s world and learned to be independant from a very early age. We were always in tow with them to Sunday Church, to Socialite Parties, to Community Events, to their Recreational Outings (whether it be tennis, sailing club events, hosting the Bridge Club once a week and family vacations…). Therefore, not only were we taught proper ettiquette and behavior by the time we were old enough to talk and walk, we were already adults by age 5…so why would you wish to be older?

As I was having lunch with a client and dear friend earlier this week, she revealed to me that she is 72 years old. It is unusual for someone to make a remark that takes me by complete surprise…but here I was, unable to form the first word of a response. I knew she was older than me, which is not unusual since I tend gravitate to older peers anyway…and always have. As a result of our upbringing, I always felt more comfortable with the adult peers in a particular setting. This client is the epitomy of class, sophistication, wisdom, beautiful soul, appropriate humor for the occasion and someone who I have always respected and looked up to. I preceded to ask about her skincare regimen, as her appearance has always been nothing short of perfection. That was when she revealed her age to me after knowing one another for 20 years.

Without realizing it at the time, a new idea was born for my next blog…the art of aging. While, my blogs have covered a vast array of topics, I have thoughtfully eliminated duplicate thoughts that I may have included in other blogs for a fresh perspective on this topic.

The first concern that people (perhaps more women than men – but not always) would think about aging would be the physical aspect. Wrinkles, gray hair, arthritis, less stamina and energy…I tend to focus more on the spiritual realm of the matter. As long as one maintains a healthy, balanced life, I am more concerned with nurturing my soul and inner peace. I, personally, prefer the natural process of aging. When I see, meet or visit with someone older than myself, their smile, laugh lines, gray hair and inner glow and happiness are far more attractive to me than someone that is not happy but focuses more attention on their outward appearance instead of their inward appearance. Once in a while you meet someone who has the best of both worlds like my dear friend, Linda. One would wonder – and has even asked Linda – “when are you going to retire?” Her response has never deviated thru the years – “when I have nothing else left to offer”. For now, my job, my friends, my family, my health, my blessings and any contributions I can make keep me young”.

Now, while I have a healthy outlook on aging, I have listed some pros and cons as they apply to my own experience. Most people in my age bracket have read plenty of articles on aging but I have listed some more of the unusual aspects that one might not have considered while pondering this topic.

As you age, so do yor elders and your pets. While my homestead animals are gradually dwindling due to old age, my tears and grieving have not.

I am so fortunate that my parents are still healthy and active for their age, but the reality is that they are getting older. I would be lieing if I said I did not push this reality to the back of my mind when the subject arises. As a testament to this, I will quickly move on to my next thought about aging.

The older you get, the older your children become. The older your children become, the less stupid you become…lol! With any luck, your offspring will begin to think of you with some regard by the time they hit their twenties. I experienced this only recently when the oldest tiny human comes home for a brief visit and manages to fit in two visits with me b/w obligations and visits with her friends. Within 2 days of these most awe-inspiring moments, the youngest tiny human calls you with a generous offering. By the end of the phone call, you can’t help but ask in bewilderment, ” are you ok?” “you don’t want anything?” ” you don’t need anything?” Her response: “I was simply thinking of you…I love you to the moon, stars and back! By this time, you are wondering what mind altering activity they have been up to. Whether or not this is simply a temporary phase between two siblings 3 years apart, a mutual collaboration, advanced theatrics… you don’t ask questions, you just roll with the newfound acknowledgements that you exist…lol!

When you clean house to the music you used to drink to. The lyrics and rhythm take on a whole different beat.

When you have the morning after but there was no night before.

You become a homing device and are quite content with the solitude your sanctum provides.

You learn to walk to the beat of your own drum.

You feel like you have been hit by a Peterbilt Special…eight days prior.

When you wish they made Flintstone chewable morphine.

When you are awake but post a warning sign to “please respect my privacy until 3rd cup of coffee”.

“Nap dates” are right up your alley…to make up for refusals of such in youth and non-existence of the like in adult years of rearing children.

You learn to own your past and forgive yourself for prior mistakes.

You design and develop your own mantras as they apply to your life.

You no longer seek validation but establish self love instead.

You are driving to the barn b/w 4-5am and pass a car and wonder what “no-good” they are up to when you would have once – upon – a – time flashed your lights and honked the horn at your all-nighter co-harts.

On the flip side, you hope you are not pulled over at the early hours of the morning, as suspected of being “up to no good.” If you find yourself in this compromising situation, quickly tell the officer you suffer from senioritis and you are only on your first cup of coffee. If they still suspect you of foul play, invite them to help you tend to the hungry equine herd waiting on their breakfast. Once you direct them to bring Cory in, as he is growing impatient with the pre-dawn midges, your problems should be over…lol.

You naturally evolve with a confident, healthy, comfortable outlook, complete with the freedom to be yourself.

You become choosy of the energy you allow in your space.

You are better able to say “No”.

You learn to decipher your comfort/safety zones in regards to moments, events, situations, people, energy…and plan accordingly.

You become more curious about the world around you instead of focusing only on your inner circle.

You naturally develop further compassion due to your own life experiences.

Learn to hide your age assets for your current (or prospective) “one and only” partner.

You look for the beauty in one’s heart and soul instead of the designer clothing labels.

While you enjoy your younger friends immensely, you recognize these peers are typically “older souls” that have surpassed life challenges and are more focused on giving/returning their blessings instead of seeking relationships for their gain.

While this topic could (and may) become a series larger than a set of encyclopedias, I am off to sample the fountain of youth (moisturizer) my lovely client gifted me today 🙂

Remember: “you are only as old as you live…own it gracefully.” Have a beautiful day!

Dedicated to my lovely friend, who inspired this blog, and all of my queenager friends!