I am not one to set out on a self proclaimed mission for several reasons: (1) I am relentless until I achieve my goal (2) Time is valuable and more often than not, such missions will detract from productive time (3) builds frustration and aggravates my gerd issues (4) I have to dig out my headgear in preparation to mow down every obstacle that gets in the way of achieving fulfillment and satisfaction.
I am also not one to take a handout unless I feel it has been honestly earned. If I am in dire need of a handout, it means I have to swallow my pride and succomb to necessity rather than self sufficience. This only lends itself to humility and low self esteem. On the other hand, your job is not considered essential (in layman’s terms, sacraficial) and therefore, you find yourself in unprecedented territory and dependant on subsidy for survival.
However, there comes a time when there is a “just to a means”. This recent environmental situation has caused undue hardship on global population due to unforeseen circumstances. Despite lay-offs, furlough, pay cuts, taking unplanned PTO…many are trying to navigate unemployment and stimulus payouts to try and make ends meet. Although many of us have met challenges with most of the above, the most elusive and evasive challenge has been breaking the code to stimulus pay-out. While waiting on unemployment outside of my PTO time during furlough, tackling the stimulus package has been an especially undaunting task. The most prevelant documentation in current events since April 2020, aside from Covid-19 statistics, has been query regarding stimulus aide.
My experience has not been any more favorable than most, as follows:
- First and foremost, practice humbly accepting the government’s hush money with grace…after all, it is your tax money.
- You know you meet qualifications…so you patiently wait on the welcome financial aide. After all, you have no idea what protocol the government is following to pay out such an enormous amount of money.
- You expect a direct deposit replicating prior tax refunds.; thus, no actions should be necessary on your part.
- Might I mention that under the current administration, you no longer receive credits for dependents over 17 years of age. Never mind, you still cover their insurance, pay tuition, medical and essential needs. Another blog for another time.
- As time goes on, you start seeing press releases on 2nd and 3rd stimulus payments. WTF…you have not even received a first payment?
- You go to the IRS website and click on “where is my stimulus payment”
- You see that cheque/debit card was issued on 5/22/20
- You then receive the official White House letter (sent 15 days after payment issue date).
- The only problem is that you did not receive payment on any of the 15 days prior to receiving letter
- You begin stalking your mailbox and/or postmaster
- Did I accidentally toss payment out, thinking it was junk mail?
- You begin to question HR on how to precede with inquiry, wh*ile having them follow-up on your unemployment payment outside of your PTO time
- HR sends you IRS links for stimulus updates.
- You follow instructions, only to hit a road block every time.
- You call every 800 number listed on website to no avail. You follow every prompt correctly and cannot get thru to a live person.
- You print and save 3911 form.
- Once complete, you realize there is no email adress or physical address.
- As an attempt to not disturb HR again, you opt to call your CPA for further assistance, since website does not provide accompanying self addressed envelope with form.
- CPA provides IRS address but suggests you wait (based on timeline) another week before sending the form since offices are closed until the end of July.
- Realizing the time you have spent on this mission, you decide you have not come this far to just quit. Instead, you decide to see what google says or may suggest
- You come across a forum where a source reveals a trick to getting a live person on the phone at IRS.
ANSWER: How To Get A Live Person At The IRS:
1 – Call the IRS toll free number at 1-800-829-1040 or 1-800-829-7650
2 – Choose option “1” for ENGLISH LANGUAGE
3 – Choose option “2” for PERSONAL INCOME TAXES
4 – Choose option “1” for FORM – TAX HISTORY – PAYMENT
5 – Choose option “4” FOR ALL OTHER QUESTIONS
6 – Choose option “2” FOR ALL OTHER QUESTIONS
7 – You will then be transferred to an IRS TAX AGENT
NOTE: Pressing the number “0” during the call does not take you to customer service.
- Call the selected 800 numbers
- You follow the prompts EXACTLY, as source instructs the reader
- Last prompt reveals that anticipated wait time is 30-45 minutes. Having nothing to lose and everything to gain, you place the handset down and turn on the speaker phone. This allows you the ability to continue working until you hear a person come on the line.
- Voila…exactly 43 minutes later, you hear a male voice come on the line, identifying himself with a 7 digit code.
- Once you acclimate to his foreign accent, you give him your best brief version of why you are calling, in hopes that he understands English.
- After he collects all of the necessary information, he says, I will need to place you on hold.
- you immediately say, “no, wait”! Then you hear the familiar recordings you listened to the prior 43 minutes.
- Another 13 minutes, the elusive foreign accent comes back on the line…only to repeat the information that YOU gave to HIM earlier.
- Trying not to sound agitated and frustrated, you reply “I know… my unsuccessful attempt at filing a report on the IRS website gave me that exact information which in turn , I gave to you.
- Silence
- Then you finally ask “what would you recommend I do next?”
- “Well, it has only been two weeks since issue date…we do not investigate further until it has been at least 4 weeks.”
- “WHAT?” Why was that information not made available to me 4:38 hours ago!”
- “I don’t know ma’m but call us back in two weeks if you still have not received payment and we will run a trace.”
- “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
- “Yes, I would like a refund on the 4:38 hrs of time I have spent getting nowhere. So, just to be clear, it is possible to receive the letter BEFORE receiving payment”?
- “I don’t know ma’m…but it could take up to 4 weeks after processing for the post office to deliver.
- As you are tempering your frustrations on your drive home after work, you pull over to retrieve the mail as you turn onto the driveway.
- Sitting on the top of what is undoubtedly a stack of bills (thus the reason you choose NOT to pick up the mail every day) is a plain white window envelope displaying what appears to be an official emphemera of some sort. It vaguely looks like something you have seen in the very distant past. Could it be? You try and control your anticipation and curb your enthusiasm in the event that you are met with disappoinment. You ever so carefully precede to open the envelope, so as avoid any accidental damage to the contents in the envelope. Just as the transitory relief is being processed thru every emotional and sensory chanel, a neighbor out walking their dog interrupts your endorphins at play for a brief exchange of commentary…
Take home lesson: regardless of the outcome, you are not going to cross the sea by standing there staring at it. Otherwise, you will feel like you are waiting on something that is never going to happen. It is better to hold out hope and make an effort rather than going thru life feeling despair. This, by no means, suggests that you go into Sea World with a fishing pole…BUT…rather understand that while you have no expenditures on gas or entertainment during furlough, you still have grocery bills for yourself (which have tripled during isolation) and furry & feathered companions. If all else fails, simply ask the carnival ride operator to stop the ride and tell them that this is not your circus or your monkeys…and that you are going to see the clowns.
Homestead Memoirs 
Check you mail seesta!
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